so. one of the pleasures of life in austin is the music. it's everywhere. especially during south by southwest, a great big infectious extravaganza of bands and films and celebs and self-congratulation. although i haven't really taken advantage of it--there are so many great acts playing all the time that it's a little hard to know where to start--i saw reggae legends toots and the maytalls last night and tonight i'm seeing up-and-coming texican rockers los lonely boys, who are about to explode (you heard it here first).

all this by way of saying: i want to be a minor rock star. i want a band of young, ironic hipsters, and a lazy manager, and a dorky roady with a ponytail who's a less a friend than a hanger-on, and a vintage amp. i want to write snappy lyrics full of heartache and wry humor that make people smile and nod knowingly.

also, i want to rock out.

i want to drink beer onstage, but not obnoxiously. classily.

i want to banter with the crowd between songs. when that one drunk guy keeps shouting out the name of the one song he wants to hear, i will tell him to keep his shirt on (or something wittier). if it's a drunk girl, i'll ask what's she doing after the show. i will then tell the crowd i'm just kidding, because i have a girlfriend.

i will never wear the same clothes for two gigs in the same month, or at the same venue in two months.

my band might be called todd lopez and the raw chesters. alternatively, it might be harry long and the twins. a third possibility is the secret mortifications of desmond p. holbein.

my band's shows will never sell out. sometimes, when we travel more than a half hour away for a gig, only one or two people in the bar where we're playing will have heard of us.

my band will have a mediocre website. the coolest part will be publicity photos of us looking moody and stylish. i will include amusing pictures of my grubby bathroom, as well as recipes i find tasty.

at least once during its lifespan, my band will fire the drummer, not because he sucks, but because he's an alcoholic. it will break the other members' hearts, because he's a funny drunk.

the band will never be great, but it will be ok. it will be fine, and it will rock a few really good parties, and the other members will get lots of girls because of their playing in the band.

in the future, i will treasure the cd that we cut with the producer who onced worked with jakob dylan, long after the band is no more. every once in a while, i will listen to the cd while sitting on my couch in the living room, alone, at twilight, with the lights off. the music will be somewhat stale, but it will also rock somewhat.

being in a band will have been awesome.

have rocked out with me,
TR