This is my new dog, . (And that's my new Puma track jacket. Sweet, huh?) He's a two-month-old pure-bred mini dachshund. My ex-boss bought him for me, apparently on a whim, in or near Uvalde, Texas. He was waiting for me when I got back to Austin Friday night. I do not consider this normal. But he's cute as a button and he appears to speak Spanish. So I guess I'll keep him.

Proposed names include Patacon (a kind of Colombian fried plantain slice), Topolino (Italian for "small mouse"), Baxter, Peluche (Spanish for "stuffed animal"), Deuce, Dooker, Dooks 88, Eighty-eight, Brian, Brownie, Johnny Damon, Caramelo, Dulce de Leche, Arequipe, Mojado, Sox, and St. John of the Cross.

We desperately need your help, dear reader, or this diminutive hound might end up with a lame-o name--and we all know how dangerous this can be for a young canine. It could sabotage his house-training, and who knows what kind of havoc it could play with his chances with the ladies? Comment me with names for this dog. I will compose and post a short epic poem in honor of the suggester of the winning name. This is a prize you definitely want to win. Don't delay, faithful Tooks-ers: you oughta see the sadness in his eyes when I have to call him "Hey, you."

Slap a name on this pup with me,
TR